Not Ever Again
by evalinesilverveil
Summary: This is a Yullen one-shot, so I hope you like it!
**Hey! I know it's been a really long time but I wanted to post something small, I've been working on the second part of the Masky x Hoodie so hold on, I haven't had like any time because of school so I'm really sorry, I'll try to post more often XP love ya!**

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I could feel the bumps of the train underneath me as I sat in the seat of the moving train. Kanda was beside me, I could see the concentration in his cobalt eyes. His black bangs hung over his eyes, making it a bit hard for me to see them… His long silky hair cascaded over his shoulders. I was surprised he allowed his hair to be down today. It was usually up in a ponytail.

"The hell are you staring at Moyashi…?" I could hear his deep gruff voice speak to me, his soft looking lips barely moving. For a moment, I couldn't find words but then I realized he called me by that stupid nickname again.

"It's Allen BaKanda!" I snapped a bit irritably.

"Che…" came his reply. I felt my mood go sour and a grumble slipped passed my lips.

"I'm average size… Everyone else is just freakishly tall…" I grumbled.

"You're still just a beansprout." Kanda said. I growled slightly and looked out the window… I could have sworn I saw the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Suddenly, I felt the train jerk to a stop, my stomach dropped at the sudden movement and I was thrown from my seat.

"Fuck!" Kanda spat, stopping himself from falling by grabbing the seat in front of us "the fuck is the matter with this fucking train?!"

"Yelling at it isn't gonna make it better BaKanda," I chided, rolling my eyes at them.

"Shut it Moyashi," he growled.

"It's Allen BaKanda!" I replied hotly, sticking my tongue out at him, but he didn't seem to be paying attention, he was looking around, it was then when I noticed the lights flickering on and off.

"Moyashi, use your eye thing now," He growled at me.

"It's All-"

"Just fucking do it already!" He snapped, cutting me off. I quickly nodded and activated my innocence, feeling the warmth of it's power grow inside of me, the vision in my left eye grew dim as I looked around, and then I saw the red glow of an Akuma…

"Kanda! There!" I shouted, pointing at the elderly woman in the front row. I saw the quick blur of Kanda run at the woman with Mugen. The train rumbled and trembled around us, and I saw Kanda look back at me.

"Moyashi!" He shouted, pointing at something behind me, as soon as I turned around, pain shot through my head and darkness enveloped me, I felt my legs grow too weak to hold me and they crumbled, causing me to hit the ground. I lost my sense of hearing after that and soon lost consciousness.

My head throbbed, I could feel nothing but a cold, stickiness cling to my arms. My eyes fluttered open, but I could not see a thing… Everything was very dark… Not completely black… But dark… I could see some shadowy objects, but it was more of a silhouette… One particular shadow grew larger, it looked sort of like a human. I felt panic set into my heart, who was this, what if whoever it was had bad intentions for me!? Why couldn't I see!? Where was Kanda? Where was I!?

I sat straight up and scrambled backwards trying to get away from the figure. "Calm down Moyashi. It's just me." Kanda's gruff voice spoke.

"W-where a-are we…?" I asked, cursing my voice for being so hoarse, and weak sounding.

"Hotel room. I had to get your weak ass out of there when you got knocked out." Kanda grumbled. I felt the bed dip ever so slightly when he sat down.

"How… How'd we get here…?" I asked.

"I carried you…" Kanda murmured, his voice grew softer… It always did when he was concentrating on something... "Your eyes… They're all clouded…" He muttered.

"W-what…?" I asked, my voice soft.

"How many fingers am I holding up?" He asked, I squinted and tried to see, but all I could see were blurry shadows…

"I-I don't know…" I whispered, I felt my heart clench with a mixture of frustration and grief… I couldn't see… I felt heat grow in my eyes as they filled with tears.

"Che… Dammit Moyashi don't cry…" I heard Kanda murmur. "You'll be fine… Just stop crying… I hate crying…" He grumbled, I felt him press his thumb to my cheek and roughly wipe away a tear that had escaped my eyes.

"Now open wide Moyashi… Can't have you dying of starvation…" Kanda murmured, I couldn't help but detect a certain fondness in his voice when he spoke… I felt myself nod obediently and open my mouth.

I felt the warm, curved texture of what I assumed was a spoon, slide into my mouth. I closed my lips around it and drank the warm, salty liquid. I realized it was chicken broth… He must have made me chicken noodle soup… Mana had always made that for me when I was sick…

"I-I can feed myse-" Before I could finish my sentence, another spoonful of soup was shoved past my lips this one had some chicken and maybe carrots in it as well as brothe.

"You're blind Baka Moyashi, no you can't, you can't even see the bowl…" He muttered. I felt myself lower my head slightly… He was right… I couldn't see the bowl… How was I supposed to do the simplest tasks on my own…? I allowed him to feed me what was left in the bowl.

"Che. Stop frowning already… You'll get used to it eventually… It'll just take time…" He snorted. I felt myself sniffle and nod slightly, a smile tugged at the corners of my lips.

"You're not good at comforting people are you BaKanda…" I sniffled.

"Che." I could picture him rolling his eyes at me right about now…

"Sometimes I think that's all you know how to say." I murmured. I heard him sigh softly, his breath was like fog against my face, he must be close to me… I could feel my heart pounding in my chest with a feeling that was quite foreign to me, it was strange… I had never felt this before when I was around anybody but Kanda… It was kind of a light hearted feeling… It was nice… But it was a strange thing… But right now… I didn't want to think about it… I was tired…

I felt a yawn rise up in my throat and slip past my lips. "Sleep Moyashi…" He murmured, I could feel his strong hands rest on my chest and gently push me down onto the bed…

"It's… Allen… BaKanda…" I breathed sleepily before I closed my eyes and drifted back to sleep.

"Goodnight… Allen…" I heard right before I passed out again.

A week has passed and the whole time, I've been in Kanda's care… It surprised me how good he has been… He's been feeding me… Comforting me… Fixing up all the wounds I had gotten on the train when those Akuma attacked…

However… His care for me has only made me feel weaker and less able… I felt like such a burden… I hated it… I hated it so much… Especially because I realized I loved him… I could never tell him… The cold hearted Samurai would never feel the same way… Heck… he probably was annoyed at me for how much I was burdening him…

Therefore… I decided I'd go away… So that he wouldn't have to deal with me anymore… I wanted him to be happy and that wouldn't happen while I was there pestering him… So when he left to buy some food… I waited a few minutes before standing up, and putting my hand on the wall, feeling the brittle feeling of wallpaper brush against my fingertips as I used it to guide me to the door.

Soon enough I felt the cold knob on my fingertips and I twisted it. I pushed the door open and somehow managed to find my way outside of the hotel… I didn't know how long it took, but I knew I didn't have much time to leave… It had taken me a while to leave the actual hotel… So when I could, I started to walk as fast as I could from the hotel… I didn't know where I was going or how I was going to survive on my own…

I then started to think of all the bad things that could happen to me while on my own and fear set inside me… now… Me being a bit stupid, hadn't thought of this earlier… I hadn't even thought any of this through to be honest… I didn't know how long I had been walking… Where was I?

Oh god… What was I doing!? I needed to get back… I was scared… I felt my fear pulse inside me… I wanted Kanda!

"K-Kanda!" I cried. "K-Kanda help!" I cried out. When there was no response I grew even more scared. "Kanda! Please answer me!" I cried, I could feel my heart pounding like a drum in my chest, tears brimming in my eyes I felt my knees buckle, and scrape against the ground causing a small throb of pain to enter my knees.

I didn't know how long I sat there on the ground crying, and calling for Kanda when I finally heard his voice, it was cold… I was shivering, I was tired, and I was afraid…

"Allen!" I heard his powerful voice cut through the air like a blade.

"K-Kanda!" I cried out.

"Moyashi!" I heard him again, except closer.

"I'm here!" I called "Kanda I'm here! I'm here!"

Warmth enveloped me as strong, muscular arms scooped me up. "What the fuck are you doing out here!? You fucking made me worry my ass off!" He snapped.

"I'm sorry" I sobbed, I couldn't even contain my tears, they flowed like rivers down my heated face, I felt myself grab him and hug him tightly… As if he would disappear if I let go…

"What the hell were you thinking you idiot!" He snapped.

"I-I thought… I-I was a b-burden s-so I… So I…. R-ran away…" I sobbed, hiding my face into his warm chest.

"God dammit Moyashi…" He murmured. "You're a pain in the ass… But taking care of you is not a burden…" He hissed. "That was a stupid idea… Dammit you worried my ass off! Leaving on your own, blind, without anybody to make sure you don't get yourself fucking killed!"

"You…. You were… Worried….?" I asked softly, registering this fact, and thinking it through…

"Yes goddammit!" He snapped, I could feel him hoist me up bridal style and begin to walk.

"Why…?" I found myself ask… "Don't I annoy you?"

"Yes you are annoying…. Almost as annoying as that fucking Usagi… But… Dammit Allen I love you!" He growled. I felt my heart stop… Yuu Kanda… Loved me…? That cold hearted bastard had feelings for me? We were silent the whole way back to the hotel room, and even when we were there… He was silent…

He bundled me up in some blankets and hand fed me some soup and made me drink some tea…

"You… Actually love me?" I asked softly.

"Yes… I already said it once." He growled.

"What do you like about me…?" I asked him softly… He remained silent for a moment before replying.

"Everything… The way you smile… The way you laugh… The way you call me _BaKanda_ … The way you always remind me your name is Allen even though I know that perfectly well…" He murmured… His voice was so soft… So sincere… "I hate the way you make me feel… How you always squeeze your way into my thoughts… The way you always know how to make me almost smile… Dammit Moyashi…" He muttered. I knew this was hard for him to say… He was a closed off… Solitary person… So I understood that it was a struggle for him to say all of this to me… "Do you love me too Moyashi…?" He asked… I remained silent for a moment, my mind going crazy, thinking of what I was supposed to say… I knew I felt the same for him but… How would I say it…? "Well?" he asked, his voice a bit harsher.

"I… I… I love y-you too Kanda…" I whispered… And before I knew what was happening, I felt something soft press against my lips… His lips… He was kissing me… His hand was on the back of my neck… Pulling me closer… My heart seemed to have grown wings and fly… I felt joy and love fill my heart...

"Don't leave me like that ever again…" He breathed, his lips close to mine.

"I won't… Not ever again…" I whispered.

"I love you Moyashi…"

"I love you too BaKanda…"


End file.
